How to Be a Good Boyfriend

There are wikiHow articles that tell how to sweep a girl off her feet, or how to flirt, or what-not, but there are none that explain how to be a good boyfriend. This is an important skill to learn, as it will possibly make both you, and your girlfriend happier. Every girl is different. This is not a "one-size-fits-all" guide. This does however, give a good starting point for any relationship.

Steps

1. Be honest. Being honest to your mate is very important, in a mature relationship, honesty is the best policy. Tell the truth even when it hurts! It may be difficult, but the truth will allow relationships to breathe. No matter what happens, no one can ever challenge the fact that you are truthful, which might mean that the other person also gives you the same respect. If something doesn't suit her let her know, otherwise she will not trust your opinion. But make it sound like a compliment. Suggest an alternative, and attach praise to the alternative. For example, if she asks you if you like a dress she is trying on (trying on, not already wearing at a party!) let her know that it might work, but you think the blue one is your favorite so far because it shows off her great (insert her best feature here--a feature that both of you like on her, not just you). Also, if she asks you, "Do you think I'm beautiful?" Tell her, "Yes, I think you're beautiful and no one is more beautiful than you; no one in the whole wide world."
2. Remember that girls are often raised to be much more emotionally oriented than men. However, remember that unless your mate suffers from physical ailments that affect her mood, the mood swings that appear to be random for you may very well have significant reasons that you're just unaware of. After all, your partner is an entire person, with a lifetime of experiences, associations and memories, and emotional expressions result from a combination of factors which she may or may not be aware of. The best thing you can do is not take it personally, and try to help her discover and understand why her mood has taken a turn for the worse.
3. Don't brush her off. People often find it exasperating when they get the feeling their partner treats them as an inferior in a relationship. Women are no exception. A lot of women have been taught that the only way to get attention when their partner is trying to ignore them is to act more emotional and be louder until the partner finally surrenders and pays attention to her, even if in annoyance. If people feel they're being given the cold treatment by people who are supposed to be important to them, they get worried. Especially as it distinguishes them from you without giving an explanation for why this disturbance has occurred. People aren't mind readers. Your girl is not likely to be able to guess that you're cranky just because she wouldn't let you do something that she felt was very trivial, whereas you found it important. If you know that your mood might lead you to overreact, simply say "I'm feeling really irritated right now. Can we talk about this later after I cool off a bit?" (Don't forget to follow through and actually give her your time later.)
4. Communicate. Do not talk her ear off, however make sure that if you have any problems that will affect your mood, she is made aware of the reasons for your problems and mood, so that you do not appear to merely be a fickle and cranky creature. Zone out everything around you when you're talking to her. If you ask her a question, ask her because you really want to know. For example, ask her what types of movies she enjoys, or about one of her favourites. If you know it, talk about it a little bit in an honest way, what you thought of it, and make a guess at why she might have liked it. Even if you are wrong, a girl will usually love the fact that you are interested enough to try.
5. Give gifts as a surprise. Anyone can buy a gift for a birthday, Christmas or an anniversary. Listen to her when you are out window shopping, and if there is something she likes, and it's within your price range, remember it and surprise her with it when she least expects it, for no reason at all. Or pick something up on your way home from work, and tell her you were thinking of her when you saw it. It doesn't have to be big or expensive--a book you know she will like, or a CD of her favourite band are ideal gifts.
6. Mix things up. Go to a new restaurant, try a new nightclub or go to a new part of town. Even if you both end up hating it, it's an experience you can share and that's what it's all about isn't it? Creating memories together. Surprise her by doing something offbeat--think less maudlin and more personal. This includes anything from racing her to your walking destination, dancing without music, or even bringing her a tub of LEGOS and encouraging their immediate use. You two should grow to be comfortable with each other, and doing things together without self-consciousness. Ideally, she should never feel stupid around you for wanting or doing a particular thing.
7. Compliment her sincerely. Find something particular and compliment her on it, but mean it. Don't just say, "You look nice". Say "That blue dress really makes your eyes flash", "Your hair cut really suits the shape of your face" or "That perfume makes me want to kiss your neck" ...and then kiss her neck! The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciative the compliment.
8. Be a gentleman. Even the stuff that seems silly can make a great impression. Hold doors, pull out chairs, and generally treat her like a princess. No matter what the media tells you girls want, their heart will always go to the gentleman.
9. When your girlfriend calls you or asks you to call her back, just do it. She probably only wants to ask you about your night or talk to you about something real quick. If you don't call her back, she just might keep calling which will probably annoy you. So even if it's 4:30 in the morning and you suddenly remember when you get up to go pee, then call her; she'll like the fact that you did, even if she's asleep. Now if your girlfriend calls you obsessively, that's your own problem to deal with!
10. If you plan a date, whether you're going somewhere fancy or just to the movies and you can't make it, again just tell her. Yes she might be mad at you (more disappointed then anything) but you not calling for fear of her response will make her even more mad. BE A MAN! If you keep canceling though, yes we understand why she's mad.
11. Show some emotion sometimes. You don't necessarily want to be all over your girlfriend or be a whiny baby but be open about when you're happy versus when you are sad. If you have something to be mad about, just tell your girlfriend. The thing about girls? They love to talk about feelings (well most of them) and they're willing to listen. Your girlfriend will not think any less of you if you show emotion; don't worry -- you're still a man!
12. Girlfriends have a tendancy to do favors, leave notes and gifts and just be all around sweet. Yes this can be embarrassing, but realize she just wants to do something nice for you, so at least act like you appreciate it. Once in awhile make an effort to surprise her. Not necessarily with diamonds and rubies or with 100 dollar meals and fancy gifts, but with just taking the time to do something small and unexpected for her.
13. No need to be all romantic, some of the sweetest memories will be the things that you say or where you went or what you buy her; sure that does stick in our memory but there are more important things!
14. Don't get jealous easily. You don't want your girl to freak out if you talk to another girl, so don't freak out when she's talking to another guy; besides you never know -- it could be a brother, uncle, cousin.
15. Don't judge her by her clothes or the way she looks. She may not always feel like spending an hour plucking, tweezing, clipping this, applying that. Make sure she knows she can relax and be herself with you. Don't make her feel like she always has to look like a goddess.

Tips

• 1. Be accommodating. If there is something she likes to do, but you don't really like it, do it anyway, and don't complain. You will probably find that you enjoy doing the activity because you're with her.
  2. Most guys are unaware, but most women love guys with manners. Hold the door for her, pull out her seat, and offer to pay every time (though allow her to pay if she is insistent).
• Playing hard to get doesn't work for most guys. Tell the girl you love that you do and keep reminding her.
• All girls have that time of the month. Be as supportive as you can because your girl might be grumpy and/or in pain but she wants your love and you have to be there for her. Nonetheless, do not explicitly mention the time of the month to her-a girl hardly enjoys knowing that the world can tell.
• If she is agitated, be nice to her, and don't get ticked off. Remember, she is not actually mad at you, or annoyed at you. She is just going through a hard time. Just let it roll off of you, like water off a duck.
• Keep in mind: the road will be difficult. As in any healthy relationship, you will have your share of conflicts, some tiny, some big. Remember to be true to yourself, and try to abandon any significant selfishness. A relationship is a matter of team work.
• Make sure you're clean and looking good...girls will notice if you put some thought into your appearance.
• If she asks, "Does this make me look fat," and it is not flattering to her, say: "I don't think it is as flattering to your beautiful body as ___" and suggest an alternative.
• Treat her like you normally do around your friends or else she will feel like you're embarrassed to date her.
• Cook her a delicious meal. Any man can pay cash for a dinner at a fancy restaurant but it takes a special man to cook a homemade meal from the heart to his sweetheart.
• Remember, friends and family can be a strong influence on someone's decisions, so make sure you are honest, open and interested in them and don't criticize or make fun of them! It's the quickest way to lose someone.
• If you travel, stay in touch with her so she knows you haven't forgotten her.
• When she is mad at you, kiss her out of nowhere.
• If you are the jealous type, keep thinking to yourself: "When guys talk/look at my girlfriend, they are admiring me and giving me props". This might help quell any jealousy outbursts you may have.
• Never use pick up lines. They are the sign of a jerk, and no girl wants to date a jerk.
• Stick up for her! If someone(especially a male) is ragging on her emotionally, or definitely physically, be there! Get over there and even if they're a friend of yours defend her! Don't leave her feeling alone and upset.

Warnings

• If you get caught in an awkward relationship-threatening situation, such as doing *something* with another girl without really meaning it that way, don't say "this isn't what you think" or "this isn't what it looks like". Very cliched. Hold her hand, she will pull away, then look her in the eyes and tell her you love her, and that she is the only one for you, and it really wasn't what it looked like, then explain.
• Never cheat. It remains perfectly understandable that you'll have wandering eyes, but realize where your heart is and stick to that. One time will be enough to convince a girl to dump you.
• Never hit a girl. Violence is unconditionally unjustified. You can hit them teasingly... Girls DO NOT like to be babied all the time and never be touched.
• Never over-do something. Switch things around a lot and you'll keep the excitement that builds a good relationship, though don't be too inconsistent.
• Never tell her she can not talk to her friends, even if they are guys. In fact, become friends with her friends. She will love you even more for that.
• Give her space. She has friends, too, and doesn't want to be smothered. See above point.
• Try not to give her reasons to be jealous. Understand how your actions might look to her.
• Do not push her to do anything physical with you. She will most likely let you know when she is ready.
• Any boy can wait until a girl is ready to do something physical, it takes a man to be chaste even when she doesn't seem to mind. Don't wait for her to tell you to stop: Ask her. "Is this okay?" is all it takes to make the difference between being the best boyfriend in the world and doing something you both will regret.
• Don't be too careful! A girl will appreciate that you are considerate of her limits, but she'll also appreciate a little pushiness. Know her well enough to estimate what will and won't be okay, and if she stops you or says "no" more than once, it's a no. She'll also enjoy you being just a little rough. Pick her up, push her against a wall, pull her hair a little bit. She'll let you know if there's something she doesn't like.
• Never hold her family's actions against her. No one can help what their family does or says. You can share with her that it bothers you what someone might have done or said but leave it alone after that.
• Try your hardest to do your part of forgive and forget and let it be. No one likes to be reminded of their mistakes.
• Never forget her birthday or other events she will remember. Saying "Happy birthday" does not cut it; girls expect gifts for every holiday. If you do not get her something she will remember and think you're cheap! Late is better than never. Cards are better than nothing!
• Never tell her about something you almost did for her and then ended up not doing for whatever reason. Like saying 'I thought about getting you this gift, but changed my mind' or 'I was going to take the day off work to spend it with you and then decided it was a bad idea'. She will not think you were thoughtful, she will think you decided she wasn't worth it. This is worse than an oblivious boyfriend, because it shows you know how to be romantic and what to do, but don't find her valuable enough. These thoughts are definitely best kept to yourself.
• Go her way but girls don't like guys who apologizes and asks suggestions from her all the time. Sometimes it's just Ok lead the way.
• Don't embarrass her. Most girls, especially if they are teenagers, get embarrassed if you talk about panties, bras, and things like that. Remember, those sorts of things may be attractive to you, but to her they may be something she doesn't want to talk about. On the same idea, never tell a funny story about her without her consent, especially if she tries to stop you DO NOT CONTINUE. This will hurt her feelings, as it shows impressing your friends and making them laugh is more important to you than her not having to feel stupid.
• Don't try to be perfect, just try to be YOURSELF, and noone else. She'll love you for that. If she doesn't, then she's not worth your time.